When you’re trying to navigate through a frat party

collegegreeks:

hahahah

spring time

it’s spring time again, a beautiful time of the year. spring break begins in about 7 hours and as thrilled as i am to be done with this quarter and finals, there’s a sadness in my heart i can’t describe. i guess it’s because this will mark a year of losing one of the loves of my life, my grandma.  the night i got home for spring break, she couldn’t see anymore. she was too weak to walk by herself. the next morning i slowly dressed her and watched her stand in my room for the last time.  i said “i love you grandma” and kissed her head as she walked to the car. through all her pain, she managed to give me a smile. as i watched her leave my heart felt heavy because i knew this time it was different. she wouldn’t be coming back to my house, ever. she stayed in that hospital, and i visited her every weekend, but she just wanted to go home. my family watched her die late sunday night.  she didn’t cry, or scream, or complain, she was in no pain. my grandma simply stopped breathing.  but not before i got to kiss her and hug her and tell her that i didn’t want her to leave and i couldn’t imagine being without her and that she was the best grandma in the whole world.  she couldn’t talk anymore, so i just held her hand. i just wanted her to hear me. she slightly tightened her grip on my hand and moved her finger as best she could.  she heard everything i said.  watching someone die has got to be the strangest most amazing thing i’ve ever experienced.  i knew she was going and there was nothing i could do.  it was a matter of seconds and it was over. there was nothing i could do to stop her or bring her back.  but why would i want to? my grandma was an angel and she was just going back home, who was i to ask her to stay here?…i guess that’s what i’m feeling. this is what spring time is making me think of. so it’s been a year since the greatest person i knew went back home and i just want her to know i miss her so much every second of every day.